Writing a new storyline for our lives: 5 ways to make lasting changes

Did you know that 90% of our thoughts are recycled? That means that we are repeating our thoughts over and over all day long every day!  Most of the time we do not consciously get to choose who teaches us certain lessons in life but we can choose how many times we are going to repeat the lesson until finally we see and make a change. Interesting how the story goes on repeat while the lesson is played out in different scenarios.

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Are you having thoughts that keep you going in circles about the same issue, it brings you distress and there is never an end or a result that fixes anything. Is this story true? If it is, is going over it again and again helping you recognize new choices? Likely not.

All of these stories and judgements are putting dividers between us and creating the same separation that divides countries, families and isolates people. The media has really taken advantage of using the victim, hero, villain scenario to market products and gain peoples attention of products and services. They do this by creating needs in people, framing issues in such a way that there is the victim, hero, and villain. Imagine what this does to our subconscious, engraving stories, of a helpless victim needing to be saved from the villain.  

You can change your story.

How to make a lasting change:

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1)   Become mindful of what you are doing and how you are acting-the watcher of your feelings and thoughts

2)  Try not to judge them as bad or good

3)  Make a list of positive affirmations that you can say to yourself daily or in times of difficulty

4)  Focus on staying calm- sometimes it is a matter of just making it through the next 5 minutes

5) Make a list of activities you can do to distract yourself in times of difficulty

Go easy on yourself, beating yourself up if you do not get it right will do the opposite of making a positive change. This is going to take practice and vigilance. You will need to commit and then recommit, several times a day maybe hundreds. It does get easier, you are changing a pattern that has been a part of your life story for a long time and this can create anxiety. We tend to want to hold onto these old familiar patterns, overtime if we do not follow through we may forget why we were doing this to begin with. That is why it is important to have the affirmations and your goal written down and in a place where you can see it and read it regularly.

Before you know it you will not have to try to distract yourself anymore. This is not about ignoring our feelings, its about not getting stuck in them. We are the only ones who can make these changes for ourselves. We do not need to accept others realities as our own. Cut through all of the stories you tell yourself and what you hear. You will see that others have their own story. So whatever you do make sure your story is one you enjoy reading.

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