5 Reasons Not To Avoid Difficult Relationships

Everyone has had experiences with those difficult people that at first meeting or even glance, can annoy, frustrate or simply make you want to walk away and never see them again!

What if I told you that those are the key moments that could change your relationships and life?  If you can sit through these times and pay attention like a stalker of your thoughts, what it is your thinking and feeling.  These are the times that can help us get to know ourselves and sometimes you may find something you were not looking for. There is the saying, "for one finger pointing at someone, there are three pointing back at me." If you really want to make a change in dealing with these difficult relationships, next time there is discomfort, try to stop and think:

What is it about this situation that is bothering me? 

Have I acted this way in my life?

Am I attached to reacting or being a certain way (victim, hero or villain)?

Am I threatened that I may loose something of personal value?

What can I learn about myself from this person? 

Often the first few thoughts we have will not be the answer. It can take days to realize and may come as an ah ha moment while walking down the street or in the middle of a conversation weeks later. The secret is to stick with the feelings and to be with them.  If you are open, an answer will eventually come, be patient and keep asking. Let go of your anger or discomfort and try to look at things as they are.

Why is it healthier not to avoid difficult relationships? 

1        We learn to empathise more with people

2        We may learn it isn’t even about us, it usually isn’t

3        Learn skills to help other people through tough situations

4        Realize you can change the direction of your own life by learning about others and where they have come from

      Become stronger people that can be better friends to others and ourselves.

We as humans tend to become attached to the way we are or the way that person or situation “always” is. This is a trap, everything in the way we live our lives is a pattern, a cycle. When we start to pay attention to the details of how we personally act and react we can make lasting changes. With these changes comes living an authentic life where we can be comfortable in any moment and if we are not, knowing there is a reason why and something to learn. When we are on auto pilot, we cannot see what we are holding onto that is making up our belief systems.  

Why not try it? 

Tell yourself a different story. Rather then giving up on someone or labelling them in one quick judgement. Stop and think, I wonder where they came from earlier today? What type of life they may have had.  People want to be heard, the outcome doesn't have to go their way as long as they feel they have been heard.